I'm fairly certain that there has been at least one point in time where you have owned a book. There's also a fairly good chance that at some point in your life, you've lent this book of yours to another person. Now when you let someone use a book of yours, or any belonging of yours for that matter, there's an understanding that your possession is to be returned to you in the condition in which it was given.
So you get your book back, and it's the exact same as when you gave it. Great, you have your book back in one piece, and your friend, or family member, or acquaintance or whoever got to read a beautifully written story and everybody is just peachy.
Except they aren't. Before you got your novel back, you noticed something. You were just passing by, minding your own business when suddenly you saw it. They were reading peacefully in their seat. They were absorbed in their text. They approached the end of the page. They raised their hand to flip it. And then it happened.
They licked their finger. They rubbed their disgusting digit along their saliva covered tongue, and used that same offensive finger to flip the page of your book. Your dear, beloved book now marred. And you ask yourself, "Why?” . Why on earth would they ever do such a blasphemous thing?
There is no conceivable reason as to why anything of the such should ever be done. The page was not difficult to turn. With the right angle and friction applied, it turns as easily as... well something that turns a lot! And it's not like it saved them any time either. They have to go to all the effort of licking that horrific finger. A person simply does not do that. You do not drool on another person's book. You ought not to drool on any book, but if you absolutely insist, then at least make sure it's your own god forsaken book!
Thank you kindly!
Ok. I feel like I should not voice my personal experience with this because you will probably wring my neck and never let me read a book of yours. So let me ask a question instead, which book of yours was soiled?
ReplyDeleteYou're right, you probably shouldn't tell me. And it's happened a couple of times. Once with one of my precious Harry Potter books, and another with a Nancy Drew one, which when growing up, I read religiously.
Deletehahahaha.
ReplyDeleteI agree. If you're going to borrow a book from someone, you don't fold the corners or lick your fingers to turn a page, or read it in the rain, or anything like that. It's just rude.
Besides, if you start gradually sliding your finger around the page to turn it before you're done reading that page, then once you finish it, you can turn to the next page immediately and you get a really nice reading flow going on.
Yeah, I don't personally read by following the text with my finger, but it's one of the many ways that licking it can be avoided. It's really not that hard!
DeleteI guess the best revenge you could hope for would be karma coming around and them getting a cold from licking their fingers so much.
ReplyDeleteThis killed me, I was anticipating an entirely different thing to be mentioned. Not saying I knew what it would be, licking of the fingers before turning pages was the last thing that I had anticipated. How exactly do you suggest this group of miscreants fix their erroneous ways?
ReplyDelete