Get a Move On

You're walking down a corridor. Or a sidewalk. Or a hall. Or I don't know, the plank. It doesn't really matter where you're walking. What matters is that you have somewhere to go. You have somewhere to be. It's not that you don't want to slow down and smell the roses, you know, enjoy the little things that life has to offer. Unfortunately, this is just not the time and place, and sometimes you simply want to be on your merry way. You just want to get where it is you need to go.

But wait. You can't. Why is that you ask? Well, because there is a group or a person in front of you taking up the entire way and advancing at the pace of a severely injured snail moving an inch every dozen eons. And you can't be quite certain if they really are just incapable of seeing you constantly trying to politely bypass them without acting like a very angry bowling ball, but it sure does look like they are trying awfully hard not to notice it.

With increasing frustration, you decide it's time to properly assess the situation at hand. You have one of four options:

1. You can give up, and make the choice to stop caring about punctuality or where it is you would rather be. Slow down and make it the time and place to enjoy the scenery. (But let's face it; this really is the least likely decision).

2. You can continue to try and give subtle hints about your discomfort and anxiety, and pray that you are wrong about your suspicions of their blindness and deafness, and overall stupidity.

3. You can become vocal. Clear your throat, utter a small, "Excuse me", and if they are polite, or not actually deaf, then they may just finally clue in and give you the room to pass.

4. Should you be less of the auditory type, you can always resort to the old fashioned turn-slightly-sideways-and-push-through-with-your-shoulder way. This is considered to be one of the most effective methods (if said subject isn't the violent type), albeit being the slightly more rude of resolutions. Let's face it though, they've already wasted your time and energy, and you really just do not care anymore.

But when it comes down to it , it really doesn't matter which option you choose, because you are now a once pleasant, though somewhat hasty fellow, who is now filled with rage induced by a person who really just needs to learn to take a hint!

So if you're that person who just can't seem to get a move on, please, for the sake of the rest of the world's little remaining sanity, either kick it up a notch, or just let the innocent victim through.

Thank you kindly!